


I Need You

by StakeTheHeart



Series: Songs to You [2]
Category: Victorious
Genre: F/F, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3669996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StakeTheHeart/pseuds/StakeTheHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Tori gone, Jade realizes just how much she meant to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

The news of Tori leaving came to Jade from Cat one day when the hyper girl had come over to Jade's house for a visit. They were hanging out for hours before the redhead had started to ramble, as she usually did. For the most part Jade answered mechanically and without much thought, giving answers that would be just enough to keep Cat going. If Jade didn't then Cat would question more than babble and Jade really didn't want to bother talking more than she had to. She hadn't been truly listening until Cat mentioned something about Tori. Interest alighted in the goth's eyes and Cat smiled knowingly, seeing her head lift to listen. Jade missed the expression because she was turned away from her friend, writing at her desk, while Cat sat on her bed. Jade spun around in her chair to address her.

"Whoa, wait, did you just say that Vega is leaving?" she asked, disbelief coating every word.

"Yeah, she's going to be with her aunt over in Florida. She texted all of us recently that she just finished packing. She didn't say anything to you?" Cat replied, puzzled.

"No. When is she going?" Jade questioned next, trying to keep the creeping worry she felt out of her voice.

"She said she was leaving early tomorrow morning. Why?" Cat answered. Jade's eyes widened slightly but she turned away, refusing to react to the news. Who cared if Tori left? Fine, good riddance. But the thought of bright, sunny, dorky Tori missing from their little group of friends was inconceivable. It wouldn't be the same. Cat seemed to read her mind because the petite girl sighed heavily.

"Yeah, I'm really gonna miss her but its ok because we'll see her again someday," Cat said, perking right back up again. That might be fine and dandy for Cat but that wasn't enough for Jade.

"So the others know this?" she asked for confirmation.

"Oh yeah, Tori first brought it up yesterday after school. You left so fast no one could tell you," Cat said, like it was the most normal thing to miss.

"And you didn't bother to text me or call or something?" Jade demanded, frustrated with her friends.

"Well…we didn't think you would care," Cat answered truthfully, tilting her head and looking at Jade curiously. Jade didn't like the tone of Cat's voice and quickly backpedaled.

"I don't! I don't care whether Vega is here or halfway across the world! I just don't like being left outside the loop," Jade clarified, crossing her arms.

"Oh, ok, well now you know. I gotta go. Maybe we can talk again later? I want to tell Tori goodbye and wish her a safe trip before she leaves. You should come too," Cat told her, hopping off the bed.

"I told you I don't care. I don't want to see Vega," she replied. She caught herself from finishing that sentence. She had wanted to say that she didn't want to see Tori go. Cat just shrugged and started collecting her things.

"Ok then, I'll tell her you said bye," Cat said with a smile.

"No! I didn't-don't tell her I said anything!" Jade commanded, quick to keep Cat from spouting things she hadn't said.

"Sure you didn't," Cat responded, dragging out her words and winking at Jade before she skipped out of the room.

"Cat!" Jade shouted at her but the door already closed, leaving Jade to the silence of her room. She leaned back in her chair and scooped up her scissors to start shredding a piece of paper. She hated the thoughts running through her head at that moment as well as the uncertainty. She wanted to tag along and at least see Tori one last time before she left but she couldn't. The girl had been nothing but a pain since she transferred into their school yet she made such a difference in their lives, both good and bad. Jade wasn't sure if the influence she had on her was good or bad and she didn't particularly want to find out so she steered clear of that.

She sat thinking for hours, the sun setting reminded her that the day was up. She tapped her scissors on her leg thoughtfully, let out a frustrated growl, and then decided that she would have to stop by the Vega residence after all. As she drove she hoped everyone had already gone home. She didn't want them to know she had given in. By the time she pulled up outside Tori's house and gotten out of the car she started having second thoughts again. She slowed down from her determined stride and came to a stop halfway. She began debating again before moving forward but stopped once more with her hand raised to knock. She stood there, feeling stupid yet still internally battling herself, when a voice spoke up to her left.

"Were you going to knock or just stand there all night?" Tori's rich voice questioned her. Jade hadn't seen her when she walked up because she was too preoccupied, but now, even without seeing her, she could hear the smile in her voice.

"No, I was gonna knock. I'm just running a little slow because I had to wake up from a great nap to drag myself over here," Jade snapped, turning to look at the youngest Vega with her arms crossed. She really wished her tone hadn't been so sharp but she couldn't help it.

"You didn't have to," Tori replied, averting her eyes.

"Yeah, well, I did, so…bye, and stuff," Jade lamely said in farewell.

"You came over here late at night just the say that?" Tori asked her, stuck between disbelief and touched. Maybe Jade did care?

"Yeah, so what? You have a problem with that?" Jade shot back, still defensive over her decision.

"No," Tori said with a shake of her head.

"Good. What are you doing out here anyway?" Jade inquired, trying to change the subject.

"Just breathing in the cool air before I go. It helps. I haven't been to Florida since I was really little. It'll be nice to go back and see my home town," Tori replied. Jade's expression shifted slightly, a hint of sadness in her eyes that vanished quickly.

"Ok then, see you later Vega," she eventually stated. Tori stood and walked over to stand in front of Jade before she could go. She gazed at the girl that was her bully, rival, and friend. She sniffled, tears coming to her eyes due to words she couldn't say, and then the next thing Jade knew, she was pulled into Tori's embrace. She held her arms away at first but feeling Tori's warmth and her body slightly shaking coaxed her into wrapping her arms around the slender girl.

"I'll miss you Jade. Even if we didn't really get along I still consider you my friend," Tori mumbled into her shoulder. Jade didn't say anything, too afraid to say something she didn't want said or worse, cry over Tori leaving. Instead, she hugged her close for a few seconds before gently pushing her away.

"Yeah, um, it won't be the same without you. That's for sure," she replied in a tight voice. Tori gripped Jade's hand in hers and their eyes locked. Jade looked away first, unable to see those sad brown orbs anymore. She pulled her hand away and tucked them both in her jacket pockets.

"See you around," she forced out, ducking her head and walking away. She berated herself for being so cold but she pressed on, not looking back. She felt like she would break if she did.

"Bye Jade," she heard behind her, the voice fragile. Jade cringed but kept going. She got in her car and sped away, fighting tears the whole way home. When she made it to her room she silently got dressed and slipped in bed. Summer vacation awaited them but Jade wasn't looking forward to it. She meant it when she said it wouldn't be the same without Tori. She curled up on her side, bit her knuckle in an attempt to hold back the tears, but they fell anyway. Tori Vega, the girl she couldn't stand before, was leaving.

All she could do was lay in bed wondering why she never just gave into her feelings and accepted that she liked her. Maybe when this time came it wouldn't be so hard if she had? She buried her face in her pillow and quickly fell into a restless sleep. The week that went by was hard on her. All she could do was think of Tori every day and lament for the lost opportunities to make her feelings known. She hadn't even left her house since. She slept late into the day again but this time she was awoken by her phone. She groaned and rolled over to get it, smashing a finger irately to the screen and then pressing it to her ear.

"What do you want?" she demanded into the device.

"Wow, you sound horrible. Did you get enough sleep?" Beck's calm voice questioned. She rolled her eyes and flopped on her back.

"No, I didn't. What's it to you?" she snapped.

"I just thought I'd call and let you know we're all going out to Karaoke Dokie for a much needed picker upper now that Tori's gone. You wanna come?" Beck offered. Jade visibly flinched at his words and was glad no one was around to see her reaction. Her voice told a different story however.

"Yeah, sure. What time?" she replied as flatly as she could, carefully repressing her emotions.

"About an hour or so," he answered, none the wiser.

"Ok, see you then," she confirmed. She hung up and set aside her phone, staring up at the ceiling. She had to leave the house at some point and try to move on. This was getting ridiculous. She rushed to get ready and jumped in her car, suddenly needing to do anything to keep her mind off Tori Vega. She arrived after the group already found a table so she just pulled up a seat and unobtrusively inserted herself into the conversation.

"Ok, so, Tori and I thought, why not just put the two pieces of the song together and call it a day?" Andre said, obviously telling the group a story. Jade's expression soured at the topic.

"Hey Jade, glad you showed up. We were beginning to think you took up the lifestyle of a recluse," Beck said to her from her left. Cat giggled from her right.

"Whatever," she dismissed, calling over a waiter so she could get something to drink.

"You know, I'm really glad Tori managed to unban us from here. It's like the only karaoke place that has good food," Andre continued. Jade's hands tightened into fists on her lap but she otherwise stayed quiet.

"Yeah, without her we would be in a lot of jams," Robbie added with a nod.

"Of course, she could also be the source of our troubles sometimes but she meant well," Beck said. Jade was now wondering why on earth the subject of the conversation had to be about Tori the one time she really didn't want it to be. She pulled out her phone and tried to ignore them with a game.

"Yep, that's our Tori," Cat supplied with a smile. Jade's temper finally cracked and she jumped from her seat with thunder in her eyes, slamming her phone down on the table.

"What is this? National Tori Vega Remembrance Day?" she demanded, swinging out her hands just as the waiter showed up with her drink. He spilled it trying to avoid the blow, earning a glare from Jade which he coward under.

"Get another one," she growled. He nodded and ran away.

"I'm going to pick something to sing. It's better than listening to this," she told them, voice low with a strange quality neither of them had heard before. They watched her go, exchanging worried but triumphant grins that were quickly hidden the moment Jade took to the stage. Everyone gave her their attention, including her group of friends. They didn't miss the solemn expression on her face either. It was a clear replacement of her frequent scowl. Now her lips were slightly down turned in something other than anger and her blue-green eyes looked like a fire that had been doused in water, smoldering lightly but gaining no strength, destined to burn out.

_Please excuse me, I'm not thinking clear.  
It must just be stress, but I likely shouldn't be here. I'm such a mess._

_I never really ever know what to say._   
_When all of my emotions get in the way._   
_I'm just trying to get us on the same page._

_I always get it better right afterward._   
_When all the wrong impressions are said and heard._   
_How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey?_   
_Wish I could explain._

_The things that I have to work out._  
I don't feel right.  
What has come over me? I'm about, to lose my mind.

The group looked on with blank expressions so they wouldn't alert Jade to what they knew or what they were doing but they didn't have to worry because she was focused on the song. Beck smiled sadly and picked up Jade's phone when she had started. He had a plan to further things along, and if he knew the youngest Vega, then this would surely make a big difference. It would also help Jade in the long run. He kept the device low but pointed at the stage, recording Jade singing in such a vulnerable yet truthful way. Music had always been an outlet for most of the group and Jade readily used it once again to express what she couldn't any other way.

_I never really ever know what to say._  
When all of my emotions get in the way.  
I'm just trying to get us on the same page.

_I always get it better right afterward._  
When all the wrong impressions are said and heard.  
How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey?  
Wish I could explain.

_Can I let the trees do the talking?_   
_Can I let the ground do the walking?_   
_Can I let the sky fill what's missing in?_   
_Can I let my mouth do the listening?_

_The listening?_

The group watched as Jade sang what they already knew she felt and exchanged conspiratorial glances at each other. Their plan was working. Now all they needed to do was keep Jade going on this path until they could start the next phase of the plan.

_I never really ever know what to say._  
When all of my emotions get in the way.  
I'm just trying to get us on the same page.

_I always get it better right afterward._   
_When all the wrong impressions are said and heard._   
_How come I can never get the right words, I need to convey?_   
_Wish I could explain._   
_What I mean to say._

The song ended and Jade walked away, her posture a little battered. Beck stopped the video recording and with a few taps to the screen, sent it to Tori then erased any evidence. He caught Andre looking at him but he just gave him a thumbs up, set the phone back in place, and gestured that he would tell him later. Jade returned to the table in time to get her new drink. She downed it while continuing to ignore the group, going back to her phone. She gave herself an hour to try and loosen up but she couldn't so she stood once more.

"I'm heading home. Thanks for the invite but I have better things to do," she told them, striding to the exit as fast as she could go without looking so desperate to leave. She made it in her car before the first tear fell but she angrily wiped it away. She started up her car and took off, heading for school. It was closed now but she knew how to get in and up to the roof. That was always a safe haven for her during school hours if the janitor's closet couldn't be accessed for whatever reason. Not many knew of this alternate hideout that she sometimes used outside of school so she was almost guaranteed to be left alone. She stayed there almost all day before finally returning home. As more days went by Jade kept getting calls to hang out but she didn't take them. Cat and Beck began to stop by her house so she didn't stick around.

She went back to the school's roof and hung out there most of the day to avoid them. While she sat there she revisited the same thoughts. Why was she so scared to admit to her feelings? Why didn't she just be her normally abrasive self and accept it for what it was? Why didn't she just tell Tori? Did Tori even feel the same way? Would she care how Jade felt or would she turn away from her for having such feelings? Why did Tori have to go in the first place? She sighed tiredly and fell back to gaze up at the scatter of stars that were hard to see in the middle of the city. She closed her eyes and prepared to drift into sleep when the crunch of footsteps met her ears. Few knew that she frequented this spot, and the one who did, wasn't even in the city anymore so whoever was up here was trespassing on her moment alone.

"You better turn back now unless you want a new haircut," she threatened in a deadpan, not even opening her eyes. The footsteps stopped by her head and the subtle shifting of material was all that was heard before a sigh graced the air. Jade's body went rigid at the familiar sound.

"You sure haven't change, have you? That's good," Tori spoke up softly, almost bashfully. Jade's eyes flew open to see Tori standing over her, looking up at the sky like she had been doing moments before.

"Tori, what the hell are you doing here?" she spat out while she sat up. She didn't mean for it to come out so harsh but she was caught off guard. Her natural reaction was to go on the offensive until she could get her shield back in place. Tori's hands began to fiddle with each other.

"I, uh, what-what do you mean why am I here? I always come up here when I can't stop thinking about…stuff," she answered lamely. Tori thought it wise to leave out the fact that she kept going back to the roof after that first time she found Jade there, hoping to run into her again. Now, here they were. Jade raised a brow at that before getting to her feet. She dusted off her hands and then crossed her arms, facing Tori with a searching gaze.

"No, I mean, why aren't you in Florida?" Jade clarified. Tori's brows furrowed in confusion.

"I was only there for summer vacation. School starts next week so I'm back," she answered. Jade looked away, suddenly realizing what the others had done. She had been tricked. She was duped into realizing just how much she cared for Tori by being falsely informed. Her disbelief that they could do such a thing to her swiftly boiled into anger.

"Those-those wazzbags! I'm going to kill them so hard!" she threatened, her fists shaking at her sides. Tori was taken aback by her sudden anger.

"What? What did they do?" she asked, raising a hand to calm Jade but thought better of it and let her hand drop.

"The day you packed, ready to go the next day, Cat told me you were leaving," Jade began to explain. Tori nodded.

"Yeah, and I was," she said, wondering when the problem was going to show itself. Jade began to pace, worrying Tori further.

"No, but she…I-I swear, she made it sound like you were moving, like you weren't coming back," Jade explained, uncertainty in her voice.

"Why would that even matter to you?" Tori wondered, her voice carrying a hint of hurt. It was then Jade understood what had really happened. Yes, Cat told Jade the truth, but because she felt the way she did for Tori she fell right into the trap, instantly worrying that she would never see her again because of her regret for not telling Tori how she felt. Cat knew then, as well as the others. Now she felt so stupid. She was plainly broadcasting her feelings with the way she had been acting all summer and no one had to do anything to make that apparent. She did it all by herself. Jade found that she was now adding herself to the list of people she was upset with at the moment. She spent all this time wishing for another chance, just one more chance to tell Tori how she felt, but Tori had already gone away, or so she thought. What better time than now to make up for that?

"Tori…I-I," Jade tried to say but the words just wouldn't come out. She was floundering and losing Tori's interest because she just shook her head and turned away.

"I don't know why you thought that Jade but I can see why you're so upset now," Tori mumbled.

"You do?" Jade finally choked out, relieved the singer had figured it out without Jade having to admit to anything.

"Yeah, you're upset now because I'm back and you hoped I would stay away, but guess what, I'm here to stay and if you don't like it, you can-" Tori ranted, every intention to tell Jade off, but she was silenced by the goth grabbing her by the shoulders and tugging her closer for a kiss. Jade kept it simple and pulled away when she felt Tori's body go as stiff as a board. When Tori just stood there without a single word to say Jade started to worry.

"Tori?" she said, reaching out to touch arm, but Tori pulled away from her.

"So you knew all along how I felt and you were just trying to mess with me, is that it? Stringing me along, sending me videos,  **kissing**  me?" Tori questioned, an unexpected sharpness to her tone. Jade took a step back.

"What? How you felt? Video? What do you mean?" she asked, truly confused.

"You know what, just leave me alone, Jade. I'm done with all this. I can't believe I even stuck around this long and put up with so much just for you to step all over me," Tori stated, her voice now thick with unshed tears.

"No wait, Tori!" Jade called to her but she just turned away and started to leave. Jade refused to let this opportunity slip away. She grabbed Tori by the wrist and stopped her from going any further. An idea popped into her head and she internally groaned. It was so cheesy, such a Tori thing, but that was exactly what made it the perfect thing to do. Jade would never do it and that simple fact was why she had to. She had to make Tori believe her.

"I asked her to stay, but she wouldn't listen, and she left before I had the chance to say. The words that would mend the things that were broken. But now it's far too late, she's gone away. Every night you cry yourself to sleep thinking, why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard? Hard to believe that, it's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night. I won't go home without you," she started to sing hopefully. Tori spun around to look back at Jade, completely caught by surprise. Jade was singing, practically serenading her. Jade slowly took Tori by the hand, her gaze cautious. Tori allowed her to, in too much awe to do much else.

"The taste of her breath, I'll never get over. And the noises that she made kept me awake. The weight of the things that remain unspoken. Built up so much, it crushed us every day. Every night you cry yourself to sleep thinking, why does this happen to me? Why does every moment have to be so hard? Hard to believe it. It's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night. I won't go home without you. Ohh, it's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night. I won't go home without you. Of all the things I felt but never really shown. Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go. I should not ever let you go," Jade continued, strengthening her voice. Jade now had both Tori's hands in hers, her voice carrying all she felt while she tried desperately to make Tori see that she was serious. Tori squeezed her hands in return and it made Jade hopeful. The small quirk of Tori's lips added to it.

"It's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night. I won't go home without you. Ohh, it's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right. I may not make it through the night. I won't go home without you. And I won't go home without you," she finished quietly, the last of the words getting lost in the light breeze, but Tori still heard it. Her thousand watt grin lit up her face and tears of happiness welled in her eyes before she yanked Jade forward to embrace her. This time Jade didn't hesitate to reciprocate. She held Tori to her tightly and tucked her face in the crook of her neck. She was just so glad to have her back and to know that she wasn't going anywhere.

When they pulled away Tori looked to Jade with a shy smile. Jade was halfway through wondering why when Tori gave her a peck on the lips. A genuine smile curled at Jade's lips and then she was tugging Tori closer to give her a longer kiss in return. They ended up laying out on the roof together, hand in hand, for another hour. Tori had walked to the school, since her house wasn't that far and she needed to think, but Jade gladly offered to drive her back when it got late. Tori accepted and got in. Comfortable silence settled over them during the drive. Jade pulled up outside Tori's house and instantly spotted luggage still packed on top of the family car. She tilted her head thoughtfully and almost questioned it but Tori saw where she was looking.

"Those are Trina's bags. My parents and I got ours inside already but Trina tried to make me bring hers in. I told her to do it herself and that's when I left. I was kinda too busy thinking of you and I didn't want to deal with her," Tori explained, shying away again. Jade just smiled, redirected Tori to look at her with a gentle hand on her chin, and then kissed her chastely.

"Don't bother. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve a lot of those things," Jade told her, what looked like guilt making its way into her eyes. She turned away. It was Tori's turn to get her to look her in the eyes again.

"You don't deserve a lot of those things too but you don't see that changing either," Tori remarked, thinking of all the names people called Jade behind her back. Trina and Jade's treatment of her was something she got used to, and maybe Jade got used to or even liked the dislike people gave her, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt her or that she deserved it.

"No, I deserve most of it," Jade disagreed with a shake of her head.

"You don't. Believe me," Tori insisted. Jade still didn't agree but smiled.

"Ok, whatever you say. Good night Tori. I'll see you later," she replied. Tori nodded, kissed Jade's cheek, and then slipped out of the car. She turned back to wave and almost tripped over her own feet but caught herself just in time. Jade could see her cute blush even in the dark.

"What a dork," she commented to herself. Tori was a major dork, but Jade had to admit it made her adorable. It was best not to question why but just accept the fact that it was. Jade rolled her eyes at her thoughts, waved back, and drove away. For the first time since Tori went on vacation in Florida, Jade slept just fine. It put her at ease knowing Tori was nearby again. The gang went back to Karaoke Dokie over the weekend where Jade had some choice words to throw their way. She chewed them up and spat them out for making her feel like crud but then she thanked them, because without all that she wouldn't have accepted her feelings. In contrast, Tori showered words of thanks on them. They hugged, happy to see her back, and happy to see her interact sweetly with Jade who returned it in a more Jade manner. With Tori back the group marveled at the effect she had on Jade already. She liked Tori's attention on her and Tori liked to give her attention to Jade. She would be reading the menu only for Jade to slap a hand over it, declare her finished, and proceed to kiss her senseless. Other times the two would just lean against each other and Tori would cuddle into Jade's side. They had a great time but didn't get to see each other until the day school started again. Jade walked in and headed straight for Tori's locker to greet her girlfriend. She was almost there when she heard someone already talking to Tori.

"Is your name Google?" the guy asked an irritated Tori in a failed attempt at suave.

"No, why?" she humored him while putting away a book.

"Because you're everything I'm looking for," he answered with a wink.

"First of all, its 'searching' not 'looking', and second, no, go away," she replied, waving him away for emphasis. He opened his mouth to protest but Jade showed up at that moment.

"How do you know that?" she asked Tori.

"Know what?" she replied, temporarily distracted from the annoying admirer.

"The joke," Jade said.

"Oh, um, I heard someone use it before," Tori said, averting her eyes.

"Uh huh," Jade responded, unconvinced.

"I did!" Tori earnestly replied. The guy looked lost now, wondering how his attempt at talking to Tori turned into this. Jade finally noticed him and made her distaste for his presence known.

"You heard her, get lost," she warned, her stare alone making the guy run for his life. Her tone of voice made him pee a little on the way.

"Sometimes I feel sorry for anyone who crosses paths with you," Tori told her with a shake of her head. Jade shrugged and wandered over to lean her back on the lockers to the right of Tori's locker. She crossed her arms and waited for Tori to finish.

"Oh well, it's not my job to make anyone but you happy. Everyone else can kiss my-" she replied, but Tori hastily slammed her locker shut and rushed to cut her off with a hand on her mouth. Jade rolled her eyes and licked Tori's hand.

"Ew, Jade!" she exclaimed, pulling away and wiping her hand off on her jeans.

"I have no clue how you put up with me Vega but it's fun to watch," Jade pointed out with a smirk, idly pressing the button on Tori's locker a few times just because. The light flicked on and off repeatedly until Tori looked back at Jade with a caring smile and a hand playfully swatting Jade's from draining her locker of unneeded usage.

"Appearance catches the attention but personality catches the heart," Tori remarked, smiling and leaning closer to Jade.

"Ugh, that should be on a Hurlmark card," Jade responded. Tori laughed and took Jade by the hand, picking up her bag with the other.

"Walk me to class?" she asked. Jade tightened her hold on Tori and nodded.

"Sure thing Vega," she agreed, leading the way. It was a strange sight for most to see Tori and Jade getting along so well but it was also something that most knew would happen eventually. It seemed that everyone could see it except for the two involved. It took a long, hard, summer vacation for both of them to arrive at the same conclusion, but they still did, and Jade wasn't going to let Tori go again. She wouldn't ever hesitate to show Tori how much she meant to her, how much she needed her. No matter what awaited them, Jade would face it with Tori happily by her side.


End file.
